I was captivated by a smile
a mad delight in the most unlikely things
an optimism in the face of loss
a strange kind of humanity.
I joyfully followed the journey
the harrowing terrifying amazing journey
laughing and crying and lying sleepless at night
monsters under my bed.
I loved you, admired you
compassion and affection and frustration
wouldn’t have missed it for anything.
But you denied me
turned your back
brushed me off as unworthy.
How can I honor you when you reject me so?
the special place in my heart for you
bruised and tender.
I want to keep the memory
of that first special journey
but it’s colored now by your disdain.
How can I both keep you
and let you go?